I am at a cusp. Not here, not there. Not quite starting and not quite being able to finish. It’s a good time to reflect, I think.
We’ve been here for six months now. What have I learnt?
I’ve learnt to be slightly more patient. I’ve learnt that talking nicely to people will get you farther than ranting at them. I’ve learnt that you don’t really have to bribe everyone in India to get the job done. I’ve learnt that actually, you really can’t trust everyone and you can’t take anyone on face value.
I’ve learnt that my children are extraordinarily adaptable, like most children are. I’ve learnt that sometimes you just have to stop and wait.
I’ve learnt there is such a thing as the poetry of the Sufi. I’ve learnt to listen.
I’ve learnt I have a really really long way to go before I become the person that I want to be. I’ve learnt that anger bubbles up from inside me like a gushing force that I watch but cannot control. I’ve learnt I’m still me no matter where I am and I can’t be someone else.
I’ve learnt to watch the sky again. I’ve learnt to pray but I forget.
I’ve learnt that I am better at seeing that I have more than enough.
I have learnt that I am tiny but I am loved and that is huge.
I am learning to stop and wait.